Heathers the Musical

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there’s a river of pressure that keeps building up and it really hurts! I mean, it’s science, y’know? HEATHER DUKE - 17. Whipping-girl of the 3 Heathers. When she finally becomes Queen Bee she wields power like a bulldozer. Alto for chorus. Voice: Strong belt to C, D preferred. Alto for chorus. NOTE: in certain choral songs Heather Duke and Mac can switch vocal parts as needed. Heathers: Woah! Or forget the creep, And get in my jeep. Let’s go tear up someone’s lawn! Heather D hands the note to Martha. Heathers: W oah! Woah! Woah! Honey, whatchu waitin’ for? Welcome to my candy store. You just gotta prove, You’re not a pussy anymore. Then step into my candy store! You can join the team­ Heather D, Heather M: ­ or you can bitch and moan. You can live the dream­ Heather D, Heather M: ­or you can die alone! You can fly with eagles, Heathers: Or if you prefer, Keep on testing me­ Heather D, Heather M: And end up like her! Martha walks over to Veronica. Veronica, look! Ram invited me to his homecoming party. See, I told you there was still something there! This proves he’s been thinking about me. …Color me stoked. I’m so happy! Heathers: Woah! Honey, whachu waiting fo­ BOY 1: BELEAGUERED GEEK – (16-18) An embittered social outcast. Voice: baritone (up to F#) or tenor (up to A).

We're not special. We're not different. We don't choose who lives or dies. Let's be normal. See bad movies, Sneak a beer and watch TV. We'll bake brownies, Or go bowling, Don't you want a life with me? Can't we be seventeen? That's all I want to do. If you could let me in, I could be good with you. People hurt us, Or they vanish. And you're right, it really blows. But we let go, Take a deep breath, And go buy some summer clothes. We'll go camping, Play some poker, And we'll eat some chili fries. JD turns and looks at Veronica, who holds out a hand to him. Maybe prom night? Maybe dancing? Don't stop looking in my eyes. Your eyes. JD starts walking towards Veronica. JD, Veronica: C an't we be seventeen? Is that so hard to do? If you could let me in, I could be good with you. JD takes Veronica's hand.From the day we finished shooting,” laughs Falk. “Winona has wanted to do another one. We all laughed at her saying ‘I want a sequel’. But now because the film has had such an amazing life over the years, that it might be amazing.” answering his own question. He rows as he speaks. The Brady Bunch sputters on the T.V. screen before him. GIRL 1: NEW WAVE GIRL – (16-18) She wants her MTV and dresses accordingly. Voice: belt to at least C# (a soprano up to high A/B is also a plus). This is an excellent forgery. Who are you? Uh, Veronica. Sawyer. I, um­ I crave a boon. What boon? Um, let me sit at your table at lunch, just once. No talking necessary. If people think that you guys tolerate me, then they’ll leave me alone. The Heathers laugh. Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips, and absence notes. How about prescriptions? Shut up, Heather! Sorry, Heather. For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure. And a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I’d have matching halves. That’s very important. Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds. And, you know, you know, you know, This could be beautiful. Mascara, maybe some lip gloss, And we’re on our way. Get this girl some blush, And, Heather, I need your brush. Let’s make her beautiful. Let’s make her beautiful. Let’s make her beautiful. Make her beautiful! Okay? Okay! The Heathers and Veronica exit. Out of my way, geek. Removal of curse words as well as onstage smoking, drinking and R-rated sexual scenes (note: there are still PG-13 sexual scenes).

KURT’S DAD: Straight-laced, very conservative, also former football player. A simple guy, not book smart, you’d be happy to share a beer with him. Speaking to Interview magazine in 2016, Winona Ryder revealed that they almost didn't cast her: "They thought I wasn't pretty enough," she said. "They were trying to get Jennifer Connelly." Ryder, who was 16 during the shoot, had to beg to be chosen ahead of Connelly and Family Ties' Justine Bateman. MS. FLEMING/VERONICA'S MOM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Michelle Duffy KURT'S DAD/VERONICA'S DAD/PRINCIPAL GOWAN ....Students: W hine. Go on and bitch and moan. Students: W hine. You don’t deserve the dream. Students: W hine. You’re gonna die alone . Heather D and the students close in on Heather M.. Heather D, Students: D ie alone, die alone, Die alone, die alone! Heather M chugs the contents of the bottle. Heather D and the students dissipate. Veronica runs onstage. No! No, no, stop, stop! Veronica and Heather fall to the ground, and Heather starts crying. Suicide is a private thing! Throwing your life away to be a statistic in USA Today? That's like the least private thing I can think of. But what about Heather and Ram and Kurt? If everyone jumped off a bridge, young lady, would you? Heather nods, ashamed. Probably. Veronica takes Heather's hand. If you were happy every single day of your life, then you wouldn't be a human, you'd be a game show host. Heather spits out the pills. Thanks for coming after me. You're welcome. SPECIAL THANKS Whitney Engstrom, Amanda Alpert-Muscat, Kristen Gura and the cast, crew, and designers of our various developmental readings and our workshop production in Los Angeles If you have obtained performance lights to this title, please refer to your licensing agreement for important billing and credit requirements. The Me Inside of Me” – Veronica, JD, Chandler, Officer Milner, Officer McCord, Mrs. Fleming, Students & Teachers

HEATHER DUKE - 17. Whipping-girl of the 3 Heathers. When she finally becomes Queen Bee she wields power like a bulldozer. Alto for chorus. Voice: Strong belt to C, D preferred. Alto for chorus. NOTE: in certain choral songs Heather Duke and Mac can switch vocal parts as needed.BIG BUD DEAN: J.D.’s single dad. Big jolly personality that barely conceals the enormous rage bubbling just below the surface. Quite possibly a serial bomber. I'm hugging my knees, And the captain is pointing. Well, who made her captain? Still, the weakest must go. The tiniest lifeboat Full of people I know. The tiniest lifeboat Full of people I know. What's your damage, Heather? Are you saying Westerburg is not a nice place? Ms. Fleming: Heather! Where's your school spirit? You don't deserve to wear our school colors. The students close in on Heather M, and Ms. Fleming tries to push Heather Duke away. Ms. Fleming: Let’s not be mean spirited­ Why don't you hop in your little lifeboat and catch a gnarly wave over to Remington? Ms. Fleming: Alright, alright, calm it down… Girl 1: Aw, Heather's going to cry. Heather M runs off stage. Ms. Fleming: Young lady, you are suspended! Turn the cameras off. Turn them off, goddamnit. Is that all you care about? TV cameras? JD enters. Ms. Fleming: I care about saving lives! Heather Duke ruined a valuable teaching! Valuable? None of us want this spectacle, to be experimented on like guinea pigs and patronized like bunny rabbits! Heather C enters (only visible/audible to Veronica). Ms. Fleming: I don't patronize bunny rabbits! This is their big secret Veronica, the adults are powerless. Heather trusted you. You said that you would protect her. They can't help us. Nobody can help us.